A few years ago I passed a tipping point in my life. I’ve officially been working for more of my life than I haven’t.
I suppose in this economy that’s a good thing; though for vanity’s sake I still find it alarming.
But in the more than half of my life that I’ve been working (god, that can’t be right, but it is) I’ve learned a thing or two about working … mainly about work and office culture.
You see, office culture can be a tricky thing.
An office is a lot like a family (though often one you want to divorce). Like families, every office has its own eccentricities: its own rituals, its own habits and its own social norms. New people must learn these rules the hard way, chiefly through trial and error.
Then there are the universal quirks of office culture, the things that we all have to contend with no matter where we work. These are a few of my favorites:
• When your boss says, “I want your honest opinion,” he/she doesn’t mean it.
• A 9 a.m. start time means that you should be at your desk, computer on and ready to work. A 5 p.m. quit time, however, does not mean that you should be in your car and easing out of the parking lot. You should be at your desk still working until at least 5:15 p.m.
• Your ringtone cannot be as loud and as inappropriate as you want it to be.
• The word “feedback” means validation. But only when your boss says it. When you say it, it comes out as “please tear me a new one.”
• Jeans and flip flops are not OK office wear. Denim slacks and strappy sandals are.
• Everyone makes weather-related chit-chat while getting coffee, no matter how cool you think you are. It’s involuntary.
• The people who write their name on things in the refrigerator are the same people who come up with rules about denim slacks. They also keep HR on speed dial.
• Children are a fool-proof excuse for everything from coming to work late and leaving early to making all-day personal calls and taking dibs on vacation time. But only if they’re your own. Nieces, neighbors and beloved pets don’t count, no matter how needy they are.
• Every cubicle comes with its own unique buzzing, fluorescent light.
• Every employee must accept that “on occasion your work life will interfere with your personal life.” If you say, “That’s fine but on occasion my personal life will interfere with my work life” it doesn’t go over well. Ever.
Tell us what the office culture rules are in your office.
Courtesy to Karri Peifer
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